How to spot an imp: Location

So, where are imps located [see below for looks-n-speech]? Imps are usually seen at night. They are usually found in clubbing districts in Atlantic Seaboard cities or in similar post-industrial fallout/urban renewal centers such as Chicago. If you were in New York, you would need to head downtown or to Brooklyn to see imps... although they could be anywhere at any time.

Subway stops are a great place to see imps. Look for them lurking around the turnstyles trying to get a free ride and/or causing havoc on the platform.









In London, a great place to see imps is down along Edgware Road.


This place is crawling with 24 hour kabob joints and shishas. Look for trixies and rude girls knocking about narguilas, harassing coal attendants and generally causing all sorts of havoc.
Imps will usually travel in packs on the subway or on the road.
Imps may or may not have boyfriends. If they do, rest assured that they will be here:


They'll be trying on trainers upstairs or touting hoodies out the door and getting into spats with the owners. Threats such as "What blood? I'll call me crew!" and "Feel free to hate, I ain't tryin' to be ur mate!" are empty and, more often than not, come from Dizzee Rascal lyrics.



Whilst their boyfreinds are trying on shoes, the imps will be here racking up exhorbitant prices on their credit cards and topping up their mobiles.





















If not there, they might be prowlin', checking out hottsies like this one:

Note: Imps are not all the same and their styles and manners and places where they hang out change from city to city. Other good locations to check in London are at Sainsbury's Local, where they will undoubtedly be in the accessories section, or alternately, checking out the crisps and the biscuits.

How to Spot an Imp: Looks and Speech

Here is a short tutorial for imp-spottin. It's difficult, but anyone can learn how to do it if you have the right street smarts, what? what?

What do imps look like: Good question. Now I'll answer it.

To tell the truth, imps look a lot like humans. Here are some pictures of co-imp snatcher Sarah imitating them (she does a damn good job, I'll say!)




Things to note: Accessories!
- [Huge] suns (£10-100)
- Cigs (£ 5)
- Hoodie w/ dogs and fire-hydrants (£25)
- Trinkets (£20-30)
- SASS (£ 0)







Imps usually may be identified by their sassy demeanor and loud, obnoxious voices. "What? What?" They use incorrect grammatical constructions like employing the 3ps verbal endings with the 1pp pronoun when referring to themselves - either one or multiple. So, instead of saying: "I swear I didn't trip the fire alarm, sir!," it would say: "We swears we didsn't trips the fire-alarm, sir!"

Imp verb paradigm:

[To swear]
1ps [we] swears
2ps [you] swears
3ps [it] swears
1pp [wes] swears's
3pp [you] swears's

Imp Snatchers - The Few and the Proud

A small introduction to those of us who have dedicated our life to imp snatchin. It isn't an easy task, and usually involves late hours, circlin, prowlin, and a shedload of molin.
















Matt Saba - Age: 23 yrs.
Location: Chicago/NY/London/Cairo/Yemen
Occupation: Wine/shisha manager
Strengths: Circlin'
















Sarah Buccleugh
Age: 24 yrs.
Location: New York (The Bronx)
Occupation: Gum and Gloss Specialist
Strength: Molin'

Other imp snatchers should ring or bell me asap in order to get their profiles up.