A word about imps and cellies (or mobiles)...
Imps love mobiles. A gaggle typically only has one tube pass, which they all use (when they aren't just hopping the turnstiles) but the EACH have at LEAST one cell phone (and often a two-way pager in addition). They particularly love text messages, which they use all the time, with tons of abbrevs (see entry title). The group always tries to get some sort of family plan, and usually one of the larger ones (with texts of course) but individual overusage is sometimes brought to task by the group...
Annoyed impsie: [scowls, looks about menacingly]“So we's was wondrin'...who's usin' all the texts and mins?!!”
Contrite impsie: [still squeaky but sullen] “Errrr...me.” [raises hand demurely]
Disgusted impsie: “Stupid git.” [whack!]
The Fav Five feature of T-Mobile is very popular, although it can cause some drama if someone outside the gaggle is named as a member's Fav. One of the groups Fav is usually a favorite drunk prank call number, like the quickie mart that busted them nicking or the JC Penny's that had them booted from the mall after they had given all the manikins “make-overs” (bad makeup jobs in colored Sharpie). These calls are brief, calling late at night huddled around the phone (on speaker) and making drunken vague and frequently nonsensical threats before hanging up amidst incapacitating giggling. Boost mobile is also sought after due to it's street appeal and two-way feature, which is very convenient for coordinating hijinks. (“[BLEEP] Where U @?!!! The copper's wise!!! [BLEEP]).
And then there are the ringtones. These are always set at the highest volume, and are from their two fav genres, trance or teen pop/'ip-'op. They change them frequently, and the ringers are often a recent favorite theme song the group has taken to singing along with at bars and nightclubs. This singing occurs whenever the phones go off (which is a lot, they will sometimes just call each other when out in the gaggle to hear the ringers) or when the song is played at a bar or club. It is loud, off key, and often contains wrong words and continues long after the phone has been answered, or the DJ has moved to a new track. Currently, a favorite is Lil' Mama's* “
Lip Gloss”, the appeal of which should be, by now, obvious to the astute reader. Declarations of “our gloss is POPPIN'!!” has become commonplace around low-cost beauty shops and Sainsbury's personals sections.
And finally...Never, EVER lend an imp your phone. Ever. The consequences can be dire indeed. I just had to get a new one after mine was returned, after two weeks, with the battery duct-taped to the phone, the language set to Mandarin Chinese and every tone, from keypad beep to ringer, set to “My shit is bananas...B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!” (they LOVE Gwen Stephani...and, obv, Fergie).
*Highly suspected to be an imp herself. Has the hoodie, the sass, hoops, and clearly the gloss, but sun and cellie data is currently unavailable. High volume two-way pager use is suspected. More observation is necessary.
* Here is a pic. Goodness. Well, it's not using a straw; instead, it's using the wrapper itself (anything for a pixfix, they can be very creative...). Notice the remarkable ability to hold the cough and drag while snorting the "pikkie Nikki," as they call it. I don't even know what to say about this. This kind of depravity is so shocking, so striking, even for seasoned impwatchers. No mean feat, I tell you, but if you ever think you've seen everything from the impsies...you are sorely mistaken.
Opium? Can't we be a tad more original than that? I can just see the gaggle who graced us with this graffito now. Probably were on their way to get some triangular sandwiches at Aldgate East and decided to write their favorite narcotic on the doors. Smart.
